I dreamt of her again...

This time, we were standing on the roof a building, and we're talking (i think) of her marriage...

sigh.

She's been in my dreams, a frequent customer to my inn of sleeping thoughts. I thought I was over her, but these 7-8 years proved that I cared for her too much... I often hated myself, if I had taken action that time, we could've been together, and she wouldn't have to be with that Jerk. Sometimes i feel I'm at fault, my indecisiveness caused her so much pain.. but its too late.

She's chosen her One, a nice foreign guy, and all i could do is to wish her well... and hope she made the right choice..

I hate these dreams.. i really do.

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When i should be doing work... i'm here.

Needed a break anyway.

Weather's been acting funny... perhaps its the time of the year again.

For the past few days, i've been getting this strange feeling of unease... like someone close is going to leave me... for somewhere....

Its not that i fear lonliness.. c'mon, i've been single for mostly these 25 years of existance, so it nothing to fear about...Just that, you know.. if someone leaves, there'll be a gap again, and filling that gap's not just anyone can do it...

Well, today's Friday, so its not the time to worry..

Wait, there is. Chuan sounded me out, PS tonite.. chances are he's gonna 1v1 me, all 6 maps in WMMT2... die liao, confirm lose 0-6 to him... :) oh well.

Tomorrow's supposed to meet up with my gaming frens for kopi session, but one of them can't make it. Nowadays all busy with work, 3 generations all busy, the 18-19s working/studying, the 25s working, the 28s working and busy with relationships. Really miss those days when we could just play 24/7..

So i guess tomorrow's a rest day.. unless someone gets me out...

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想用一杯latte把你灌醉
好让你能多爱我一点
暗恋的滋味
你不懂这种感觉
早有人陪的你永远不会
看见你和他在我面前
证明我的爱只是愚昧
你不懂我的那些憔悴
是你永远不曾过的体会
为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解
我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切
你又狠狠逼退我的防备
静静关上门来默数我的泪
明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会
我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲
曾经我以为我自己会后悔
不想爱的太多痴心绝对
为你落第一滴泪
为你做任何改变
也唤不回你对我的坚决

------------------------

Really love this song.. :)

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Traumatized by Friday's "Crab" incident, i've decided i needed to get it off my mind....

Wat better way than to cut my hair short??

...
..
.

Okay, that's a poor excuse for getting a haircut. :)

Just wanted to keep the hair short, since when it gets long, my curly hair tends to.. curl up, and form Horns. Yes. Horns.　SO, i went to EC House for the $10, 10min haircut, and came out with a High slope, short hair..

Its standing up now, i'm trying to make it go spikey, but my friends say it'll spike even more if its shorter..

Ah, yes, yesterday's dinner.

The Return of the Crabs.

Everyone HAS to have a craving for crabs, when i'm just about to go into anti-crab strikes.. sigh. No choice. And, they had to order, of all the styles of crab-cooking... CHILLI CRAB.
New guy on the Block. Ex- commercial diver, now a QC-Coding supervisor. :) Lunch @ Secret Garden, Set lunch. Soup of da Day was Cream O' Brocolli, which i find it too... thick. The Chicken Ham spagetti used vegetable sauce, which was kind of weird... but overall, still ok.

Looking @ the Beancurd my friend "Ta-pao'ed" for me (thx Claire!) now... looks so yummy... but still abit full from the lunch....guess i'll eat @ 3pm.

Looking at the sky now, i'm suddenly reminded of Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, the part where Bahamut was summoned.. the darkened clouds, swirling up and forming the shape of the great Dragon....

TOO MUCH ANIME.

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FINALLY.

i've F**king passed the F**king IPPT!!!! YAHOOO!!!! YEA!

i nearly gave up after running 9mins on the treadmill for the 2.4km run.... but something (mainly, its the fear of retaking the whole sh*t thing) kept me going.. i was panting like a dog on steriods. Even after the run, it took me 30-40 mins to regain my breath......

whew.

finally.

passed.

right after that, went to Boat Quay's Coffee Bean (or the Guildspot, as we've come to know) to meet my fren. He was late, so in the meantime i treated myself to a chicken & mushroom creamy fuselini (i can't remember how it's spelled).. YUmm! But pricey though....

Had a great chat with my fren, talked about mostly game stuff :) He's a real businessman.. ingame, our ingame guild-bank... ahhahahahaha

in the evening went to PS for a few rounds of WMMT2... FINALLY 400 Stars! whooopie! S Class Level 3!!!!!

A fruitful day it has been :)

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Had dinner with the department just now, Rachel's giving a promotion treat. We ate @ the Meridian Hotel's Cafe Georges, buffet style. Food wasn't too bad, and there were loads of laughs (my little episode with Chilli crab was the source ^^). Will put pics up when Claire send them to me.

"With thy bloodied hands....thy shalt smite thee!"

heh heh..

Today, i fully realised the odd stacked on me on finding a gf. Those words hit harder than anything, and re-affirms that i've got a lot of work to do if i ever have a chance in finding one.

Ganbatte!

But.. somethings cannot be changed... so it seems like its a goner for me...

But, i won't give up without a fight!.

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Had a great race with Q00 and Surf* last nite... these two really belong to the mOw, their skills where WAY above mine..

Any why does everyone want to slam? It's like, the start of the match, and hello, why is you black R34/ Purple Evo8 heading towards MY Evo8? Why must we slam, can't we have a proper match to test our skills?

Sigh..

After that, went for dinner and head for gym... tomorrow (Saturday) is my 2nd attempt to pass the dreaded IPPT... last nite headed for the treadmill for some running.. didn't set the speed to test-conditions (the speed set during the test was 12.0, i ran @ 10.0 last nite), but i managed to last for the 2.4km run. Hopefully that will be the case tomorrow.

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I SHOULD be working.

But, as i sit her, in my personal cubicle, i did some thinking (yes, more thinking)

The world always seem to move at a faster pace than mine, i always seem to lag behind... i used to think that is bad, but now, i realised, this could be a good thing too. I get to see what others, while they bustle about, might not see.

I always wished for the gal of my dreams to pop up from nowhere. But reality was never kind to me, and i shouldn't believe it would be nice to me now. Problem is, i lack the strength, the courage, to make the first step. People always say its easy.. and it does seem easy, but when you are about to make that crucial step, that important one, i always hesitate. That little time is all it took to make me stop. Sigh..

Here i am, sitting in the office.. looking through the window, staring at the clouds, as they slowly drift.. and looking at time pass me by. I'm getting old...

Alot of things are running through this troubled mind o' mine.. sometimes i wish i could take a break from my mind.

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13 days of non activity...

i've gotten bloody lazy.

but then again, that's me.

oh well. a quick update about the significant events during those days:

1. well, i got my exam results back. NOT the grades i wanted, 2 Credits... was hoping for at least Distinction... but, then again, not failing them is also a good thing. I suppose the grade reflects on how little effort i put in for that semester. Well... at least its onward to Graduation date, which happens to fall on my fav. date of the year... September 9. Wat a fitting gift to hit the "Quarter of a Century" Milestone.

2. Work has been progressing .. well, ok. Seen more office politics, and it looks like just the tip of the iceberg. Gotta be careful. I have the tendency to step on tails unknowingly.

3. I think i might have hurt my back muscles.. nowadays it tend to give a slight sore feel when i try to get up from the seat.

4. I AM F**KING bored. Ran out of music...I've went back to Techno/Trance, away from Chillout... again. Was tempted to really go back to Death Metal, but i've lost track of who are the artists and what songs are great. Anyone has any new type of music, please let me know. Oh, no POp please.

5. The craving of owning a car has grown. But i've also realised the Huge cost involved in maintaining one.. did some simple calculations, it seems practically impossible to upkeep a car, be it a Honda Jazz, with my current salary.

There are many bits and pieces of stuff, but i can't remember... it seems that my memory is failing faster than my ability to fail any units :)

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Went to gym yesterday, so as usual i left my long sleeved shirt hanging on the rack in the changing room... and when i came back, it was F@#king GONE! SOME ASSHOLE STOLE MY SHIRT!!!!

Talked to the personnel in charge, he said nothing can be done...

WA LAO!!!! HE TOOK MY FAVORITE SHIRT!!!!

THE ASSHOLE TOOK MY SHIRT!!!!

damn frustrated and sad.. frustrated cause the asshole choose to take my favorite shirt, sad.. cause the asshole choose to take my favorite shirt.

asshole choose to take my favorite shirt~~

i had to go home in my gym gear..

my pants were in the locker, so that's safe...but..

asshole choose to take my favorite shirt!!!!!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

whosoever touched that shirt, or even wore it, after me, shall hereby be cursed for A THOUSAND GENERATIONS! You shall get skin diesease upon wearing that shirt! You shall not have children! Even if you do, you shall give birth to kids with defects! Same goes to your kid, and your kid's kid, and so on! I WANT YOUR WHOLE FAMILY TO REGRET YOUR STUPID ACTION!

CRUEL? yes. but he took my stuff. he's asking for IT.

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The project i'm working on will be launching tomolo... abit scared... wait my scripting screws up... die die die....

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A new food chain opened at the mall nearby: Pepper Express. It a cross between Teppanyaki & Fast Food. You order at the counter, 5-10mins later the food arrives on a sizzling plate, with the waitress/waiter ready to explain how to eat.

Food ain't too bad, but slightly on the pricer side: i had the Hamburger steak, $9.80. An ok-sized patty, some bean sprouts, an egg and a bowl of rice, plus either a drink or soup (took the drink option, ice lemon tea).

:)

Weekend's over, Monday's here, back to work :)

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