aka Match-making agency.. hahahaa

its "Social Development Unit", or SDU.

heard nothing but good news about it... i think imma gonna join after my grad ceremony...

need to widen my circles.. :)

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Perhaps it was the red wine that made me fell in love with her.

2 weeks after, i still dunno if what i'm feeling is "love" or not...

All i know, is that i've got nothing to offer her, in exchange for her love.

I'm so confused now... some told me not to think, and go for it.. but, i can't... i don't want to waste other's time if there's nothing i can give...

Someone once told me i place myself too much restrictions... give myself too much stress...

Sigh...

---------------------------------------------------

In other news, yes, i'm back in base for reservists... 2 of my best bud was posted away to ATC, and things are slightly different..

Jovina's pregnant now.. so happy for her.. she's a REALLY nice lady... sometimes, i'm jealous of her husband...he's so lucky to find such a nice lady...

6 more days of early wakeups and late bookouts... :)

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:) i'm so glad :)

My elder "sis" found a man she's happy to be together with!

Rejoice!

Now, when she smiles, i could see and feel an aura of happiness and contentment around her.

:) can't help but feel happy for her!

Whoopiez!

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So much negativity recently...

its getting to my health, headaches and sores are so common...

Gotta think positive, gotta think positive... for the sake of health!

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5 seconds.

That's all it took.

oh, and a stick of skewered meat.

I've turned the world against me, over a stick of skewered meat, all for the sake of getting the affection of another.

Way to go dude, way to go.

What can i say, i handled the situation really badly, and i'm paying the price. Saying sorry, and being sorry won't be enough, so i'll just take whatever punishment met on me.

Once a loser, always a loser. Never expect to win.

So, whats new? haahaa, i was never good with my tongue, and it certainly cost me the world this time.

Oh well, the world wasn't mine anyway.

Someone once told me, "Nothing good comes without cost."

True, true, true.

But it this case, nothing good came even with the cost incurred.

hahaha, all i gotta blame is myself for my inexperience and silliness.

Reflection week starts today.

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When i talk to her, i'm mesmerised by her vast amount of knowledge.
When i look at her, i'm captivated at her angelic face.
When i think of her, i'll miss her.


Its back.

I'm falling in love...


The pain of missing people, the pain of having that person not by your side... those pain are back..

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Yesterday had a war of words with my sis...

Whoa.. didn't know it hurt me so much when she said those words to me.. was so angry and upset (was in the office somemore...) . When i confided with my friends, tears just came out... it just hurt so much to have someone you cared for for 20 years say those words...

Anyway she later apologised to me, and i quickly accepted.. after all, family is family, these things shouldn't hurt the bond between us.

And to my angels, thanks again for being there... i believe you're the first (and only) ones to see me angry, sad and cry all at one shot.. hahahaahahahahahaha...

I was told men shouldn't cry. Why not? Why should men always be macho? Beneath every man's machoness, there's always a heart. A heart, no matter how strong, has a weakness. When men encounter those weakness, there's only a few things they do:

1. Drink, and get drunk.
2. Cry alone.

I chose an alternative... confide in friends.. haahaa

Well, all's well, no hard feelings now, everything was just a matter of stress...

After all, family's still family.

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Listening to "Right here waiting" by Richard Marx, and the recollection of a deceased friend, brings back memories of my primary school days...

I was such a little boy back then.. I remember when i was still primary 1, the whole year recess time i only ate "Chwee Kuey", coz its the easiest to order... even the auntie knows me well.. hahahaha..

Used to "roleplay" as the Ghostbusters with my friends, always played the part of Egon Spencer, the bespectacled guy, who's smart with technology (maybe that's how i got started into the IT sector..haha).

I remember i used to like this girl, she's the head prefect, sweet looking...long hair (GOD, my fetish began at such tender age!). Never really dared to talk to her... hahahahaha.. shy la..

I remember i used to like to hang around gals, they seem so much interesting than guys... haahahaa... one of the gals like to bully me too.. but it wasn't that bad, just for fun....

I remember i tried to cheat during a test.. and got caught... lucky the teacher didn't tell my parents.. XD

I also remember being stabbed in the wrist by a bully during primary one/two, he used a mechanical pencil, and my form teacher, Mrs. Siew, brought me to wash the wound. I think it was an unprovoked attack, he just attacked me. I dunno what happened to him, but i didn't see him after that. Sad news too, Mrs. Siew passed away a few years ago. May her kind soul rest in peace. The wound left shall be a reminder and a tribute to your dedication, kindness, sweetness and love to all your students.

Haha.. so much memories came back...i know there's even more, and i believe it shall come back to me in due time...

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Day 15 of the Lunar 7th Month, tonite the moon will be round and bright.

Offered some incense, prayers of peace and calmness.

And a little prayer to a friend.

Someone who left the world, left so abruptly, so suddenly.

She drowned in a swimming pool incident 13? years ago.

Many years have past, i've even forgotten her name.

But i have occasionally felt her presense. We weren't that close, but i remember it was just after our PSLE, saw her and other friends. They were going to another friend's condo for relaxing.

That's the last i saw her.

A few weeks later, i've got news that she drowned. Shock, despair, and sadness. So young.. so much potential.. lost.

Just last week, i heard a voice calling me from behind (my friend, who sits behind, said she didn't call me). Now that i think about it, perhaps she's calling me..

Hence, this post, and the incense burned, is offered to you.

I may forget your name, i may forget how you look like, but know that your presence will be missed by family and friends alike.

Be at peace, my friend.

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Today's Monday.

Today, the office seemed to be laden with a cloud of doom and moodiness.

Big sis had a lil encounter with the heads, and she ain't very happy.

Another seemed to be on the edge today.

Sigh. My mood gets easily influenced by the surrounding... when people not happy, i dun feel good.

But wat can i do? i seemed to be unable to help anyone everytime. hope i'm not in anyone's way.

Hope everyone will cheer up tomolo, since its gonna be a holiday on wednesday.

Yup, National Day.

Parades, Flypasts, Fireworks.

Everyone's so hyped up about it this year, since its gonna be the last parade at our National Stadium, before its demolished and a new one be made.

To me, its another year.

Looking back at the year, our country didn't encounter much problems. Except fare hikes, price hikes, etc. :)

I've not contributed much to the country, except for my Reservist liabilities, CPF contribution, and taxes paid via GST :)

To a better future Singapore.

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:)

Yup, i have a fetish.

Fetish for long hair.

For years I have this love for women with long hair, but couldn't explain why.

Then, suddenly, it hit me.

I WATCHED TOO MUCH F**KING ANIME.

Scenes with girls with long hair, the wind blowing, those long, beautiful hair flying...
hahahahahahaha!

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Move away Charlie's Angels!

My angels have appeared!!!! HAHA!!!

Angel #1:
I could consider her to be my elder sister, giving me advice, talking to me... and bullying me. hahahaha, but she's not too bad.. (damn, that pinch hurts!). There's even a mention of some makeover for me...LOL! ME? MAKEOVER???? HAHAHHHAHAHAH

Angel #2:
Though she's younger than me, i treat her as my equal and a good friend. She always seem to be in bad mood lately (work stress), so me and Angel #1 would try to cheer her up. Hopefully next week she'll be back to her bubbly self again.

Angel #3:
Not much of a talker, but she's wise and experienced, and Angel #1 would seek her assistance occasionally.

Together, these 3 Angels have given a little colour to my colourless world.

:):):):):)
Thanks Angels.

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..

Just found out i have 11 comments waiting for approval... OMG!

Was thinking of monitoring comments (my previous blog had comment-spams, which were damn annoying), but i guess i'll turn it off after this post..

Today was the interview by auditors for Monash's Quality certification (or something like that). This aussie guy from some quality assurance company came down and talked to some of the students on our studies, how it was conducted, blah blah blah. It was a relaxed session, so its still ok.. Then dropped by to Gramaphone, and got a CD called "Bistro Blue", which sounded pretty well.

Lo and behold, i picked up 50 bucks on the floor! OMG! No joke. Was topping up my EZ-Link card @ the Hougang MRT Station, when i incidentally looked at the floor.. mr. blue note looked back at me! OMG! Looked around, but no one noticed. I hesitated... YES. HESITATED. I didn't want to pick it up.. but Mr. Blue Note stared at me with those evil eyes...

..
..
..

So, i picked it up.

But heavy concience weighed my mind. Tomorrow I'll drop by and donate $20 to the temple, the rest to treat my buddies again... :)

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Walking down the street last nite, i finally realised the root of my recent moodiness...

I cannot see colours.

No, i'm not colour blind (at least, not yet). I realised that no matter how bright and colourful things are, they all appear dull and boring to me...

Not good..

Not good at all. Bad sign.

:) BLACK AND WHITE.. wohoo.. back to golden ages!!

...
...
...

I think colours are better.

I need something to bring those colours back..

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